My nephew Eli

Isn't he adorable :)

Thankfulness

I guess since my DH did his wonderful 'what I'm thankful for' I should at least pretend to have some appreciation for my life up to this point.....and yeah that is sarcasm :)

Family, can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em ...God goes so far as to say we HAVE to love them...eek! For the most part, easy as pie (have you ever made a pie?)...I love my kids with ease and abundance...except when I want to strangle them (which is suprisingly, not very often). They are truly good kids who I'm enjoying watching grow up into good people. I like being around them and will miss them terribly when they leave (unless of course they stay and then I will complain to my freinds about what leeches we have raised :).

My extended family, I love dearly (hey sis!) ...and even those I don't like (and there's only just the one) I do love and pray for (constantly). I am fortunate to have one parent, my Mom, still living (miss Dad terribly) and I'm finding myself more and more appreciative of her every single day. She is a loving, giving, goofy storytelling, heck of a great gal....we are SO glad you are still with us Mom, stay healthy!

I am also incredibly blessed to be married to a man who loves me without reservations (and I give him plenty). He is kind, generous, hard-working, funny, smart (he would SO clean up on Cash Cab!) and everyone (who matters) genuinely likes him....how cool is that!?!

I serve a loving God, who (so far) has not abandoned me (and I have definitely given HIM cause to). He has on more than one occasion, literally given me reasons to live. And somehow, even when I don't feel like getting up in the morning, He pulls me outta bed and shoves me out the door to face another day. Even if it's just to make pancakes for the kids or get to the bank before another check bounces, the responsibilities of our lives are sometimes what we live for, and I am thankful to have them.

Happiness differs from Joy, it comes and goes....anyone who thinks that life is supposed to be happy every day is in for a huge letdown. Joy comes from the Lord and is not dependent on circumstances. I'm not one who has ever been able to 'be thankful in all things'. I find it almost impossible to thank God for the bad stuff...but I CAN be patient in the midst of bad stuff. I can, mostly, find something to be thankful for....husband, kids, family, photography...a really good movie on late at night (Doris Day and James Garner in 'Move over Darling')...something! And I will try to get back on track....I will try to find Joy.

I'm thankful that at the age of 50, I'm finally starting to figure things out....I'm starting to "know what I knew then". I'm sure there are plenty of hard years ahead (my daughter turns 14 next week... you do the math) but I know my family and my God will be here (OK, I truly only know that God will be here, but I'm not going to think about living without my family unless I have to...so there).

God Bless You all!

Frustrating week!

Business cards on hold till I figure out why Smugmug is putting my football players in uniforms that make them look like BARNEY!!!

My First Sale!

This is kinda fun! I got an email last night informing me that someone (a players grandma) had placed an order on my smugmug site.....Yea!!!! Pretty weird having someone actually PAY for a photo I took.

In other breaking news...just ordered new business cards specific to sports (obviously) so I can hand them out to parents at the awards night dinner.

...things are gonna start happening to me now...

Got my Drivers license!

Is it so hard to tell someone whose picture you are taking that their sunglasses are hanging from the front of their (aka MY) shirt, so that in the cropped photo it looks like some giant scarab has attached itself to said victims chest???

...what more can they do to me...

DMV

Wilson takes his first Drivers training lesson….

There are few things in life more pleasant (said dripping with sarcasm) than a trip to the DMV, with the possible exception of shopping at Wal-Mart or attending a graduation ceremony.

Son #3 (Wilson – pay attention) turned 16 in July but having had the misfortune of following his 2 accident-prone brothers into the driving foray; he has had to wait a wee bit to get behind the wheel. The time had finally arrived (the nagging having reached intolerable levels :) and so we headed to town.

I figure as long as we are going to the DMV this is as good a time as any to turn in my license renewal form (birthday the next day so, ‘good a time as any’ is a euphemism for ‘last possible moment’). Had I known that I was going to have to get my picture taken I would’ve renewed online (did you know you can do that?). Haven’t washed my hair in 2 days, so taking a photo that will follow me for the next 10 years thrills me to no end. I SO hate getting my picture taken that I am not even cheered by the fact that this new photo will be replacing the one taken in what looks to be the 80’s... big ole bug-eye glasses (did we really ever think these were attractive?).

After the experience of taking my pic, I wait for Wilson to finish up the test. Should’ve brought a book, didn’t, so I end up watching the various life forms that have been sucked into the DMV vortex (including those of us dimwits who didn’t read the info mailed to us that would’ve allowed us to avoid this whole experience). After a few minutes I notice an older gentleman walking in my direction (and I use the term loosely here, shuffling would be a more descriptive term). My first impression is that he is blind as he is using a cane and his gaze seems off in some distant land. He is following what turns out to be his (approx.) 50yr. old daughter around the corner to the license renewal section of the DMV and after a few steps he is literally dragging the cane behind him. When he reaches a point about 6ft. from the DMV gal and her computer, his daughter says, “right here dad” and he turns (immediately) and is now standing in front of an empty section of counter...and continues standing there (and staring off into space).

Now, at this point I'm holding out the faint hope that it is his daughter (holding the paperwork) who is here to renew her license. So when she says to him, "no, down here dad" and grabs him by the arm in order to pull him sideways to where she is standing, I figure it’s gotta be so she can keep an eye on him. He doesn’t seem to know where he is, so obviously no one would allow him behind the wheel of a car; it would kinda be like giving a 5yr.old an Uzi. At this point, the DMV gal tells him to sign the register and takes his thumbprint. She then tells him to turn around and stand in front of the blue screen to have his photo taken (all of 3ft. behind him) ...to which he responds by turning..… and walking right on past. I believe that if said daughter had not grabbed him from behind, he would’ve gone right on home (happy ending for us all). The whole time I’m watching this comedy routine (think Tim Conway in almost any old Carol Brunette skit) I’m looking around for someone to raise my eyebrows at…to telepathically ask, “Are you seeing what I’m seeing? ...Shouldn’t we stop this?”

Wils said that he must have passed the vision exam or they wouldn’t allow him to drive...ok...well, maybe there needs to be a more rigorous exam and that possibly getting lost in the DMV should be considered an automatic failure. What are these people thinking?!? Does he have a JOB to get to in the morning? (Pizza delivery guy? UPS driver?)

I have no point here, no wisdom, except to say that I dearly wish I knew when this gentleman was going to be behind the wheel so I could keep my kids off the road. We are making it harder and harder for teens to drive (rightfully so) but maybe we need to take a look at the other end of the spectrum.

Meanwhile, drive defensively and hopefully old guy will find better things to do with his time.....like studying for his pilot’s license exam.

caution....extreme whining to follow

Why is it that the very day I decide I can do this I get kicked in the teeth? I finally got up the nerve to accept a job (paid!) and went in with all the confidence in the world (for me that means not throwing up) and I pretty much stunk the place up. ARGHHHH...I just want to crawl in a hole somewhere and cry...
....and this morning I was driving thru town thinking I couldn't wait to get thru this trial and get to the other side so I could make sure NO other person had to go thru the frustration and agony (ok, slight exaggeration, but that’s how it feels) I actually thought I was having an aha moment, that I could help other photographers who were surely going to be going down this same road...but then I thought, why does any of us have to go thru it?

I can take good pictures...I know I can...so why is it that when I need to...when it’s crunch time...I screw it up??? And the thing is...I don’t know WHY...I don’t know what I’m doing wrong (or even if) so I can’t fix it. I have asked everyone who will listen (believe me, my DH has gotten an earful) and I’m sure by now I’m on a couple blocked email lists. I read, I practice, I ask questions and the very things I think I have a handle on seem to change the minute I pick up the camera. Not to mention that focus...FOCUS for gosh sake...the thing that should be easy, the thing I never even thought about when I was shooting film...suddenly is my biggest issue.

I've even sent my entire set-up to Canon and they found a couple of minor problems and fixed them…or so they said. So, now it’s squarely in the user error camp...it’s MY fault. I just want to pull my hair out! .....if it helps, I am trying to find the Lords hand in all this...feeling a bit like I’m looking for Waldo.... but I do have hope!

.....to be continued (hopefully there will be a happy ending and I can impart wisdom upon the masses...for now I’m just pissed)