For Those Who take Life too Seriously

From the slightly off kilter mind of Stephen Wright...


1. Save the whales...collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like...night.
3. I just got lost in thought, it was unfamiliar territory.
4. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
5. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
6. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
9. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
10. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
11. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
12. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism: to steal from many is research.
13. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
14. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
15.The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
16.I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
17. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
18. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
19. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
20. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.