Disappointment

Senior awards were last night. Wilson got his CSF gold cord, number 7 class ranking and one small scholarship award.....out of hundreds. We were kind of disappointed (ok, I was disappointed, Wilson ate Panda Express.....and was fine).

Our young man wants to go to Lane Junior College in Eugene Oregon and eventually to the University of Oregon. We normally wouldn't even consider an out-of-the-area community college because we have one 10miles away. But to establish residency and save $14,000 (a year!!!) on out-of-state tuition, it seemed reasonable. It seemed more reasonable when we thought we would be getting

a bit more help here.

I absolutely LOVE seeing the kids who have worked hard, given back to their community and used their talents for good get the recognition they deserve. Other kids....not so much.

Sour grapes? Perhaps, but what do I tell our daughter about working hard when she's watched 2 of her brothers graduate with 4.0 GPA's and little else to show for it? Yeah, I know hard work is it's own reward, and the efforts they have put in will pay off in the long run....yada, yada, yada. We've been saying those things to our kids for years, why doesn't it make me feel any better?

Wilson is a good kid, he's worked very hard this year, he's smart and personable (senior picture day not withstanding) and I'm frustrated that his efforts weren't recognized. Financially recognized.

....sigh. But it's my frustration, it's my issue and one that I need to deal with. Maybe I'm just being a bad sport. Maybe I need to stop whining and get on with it. Maybe I need to pray for wisdom and a tiny bit of the joy I used to know......and maybe I should eat a little Panda Express now and then :)