Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
thanks to Rural Revolution from whom I stole this....Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
This is something I have been saying for YEARS....only he says it better and less passionately* than I ever could.
*passion is my husband's euphemism for the intense emotional response I have to life's absurdities...most people would just call it anger.
Hijacked planes as missiles is something that would only work once. Previously, hijacked passengers and crew had a sort of assurance that if they cooperated, they wouldn't get hurt. Hijackers were after some other kind of demands, not killing everyone on board. Once the 9/11 guys blew up that bargain, it changes the likelihood of passenger cooperation dramatically, and radically reduces the odds of another success. If people know that they're going to die if the hijacker succeeds, they're better off trying to fight off the hijacker, it can't be any worse and it might be better.
All the security stuff is pointless compared to that behavioral shift by passengers and crew.