Saturday, January 8, 2011

Coyotes

The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.


Montana :

The Governor of Montana is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Montana is not.

6 comments:

Jeano said...

Yes.

consciouslyfrugal said...

ahahahahahahahahaha Oh lord, that was hilarious and ever so spot on!

Maureen said...

I thought so too....tho I'm hopeful that Gov. Brown will do better than his predecessors...he seems charmingly cheap:)

Rachel said...

Now that's a way to make a point. Very clever. Thanks for dropping by my blog. I've been introduced to some really funny blogs. But, Maureen, if I ever do charter that yacht, will you please promise me that you won't bring a gun? Bringing the coyote would be fine;)

mamaraby said...

I hate to be the lead weight on all this levity, but the other reason why Montana's doing so well is because you kind folks in California are helping to underwrite their budget. For every $1 that Montana residents pay in Federal Taxes, the state basically receives $1.47 where as in California y'all pay $1 and get back $0.78.

The most recent chart I've seen is at Visualizing Economics or you can search "federal taxes paid versus federal taxes spent" (I was going to include a link, but Blogger's being fussy today). I think your state and my state should look into getting some of that money back!

Maureen said...

Rachel....I make no promises;)

And mamaraby, I don't think you are being a lead weight at all. I appreciate your comments and the info on where our tax dollars are going....however incensed I might become when learning these facts....ugh.