Something to think about...

Possibly our self worth and internal peace is determined by the conflict of who we actually are vs. what we respect or admire.

I just found this quote on a blog I discovered recently....such wisdom in so very few words. Thanks to Jame for sharing this.

Graduation Dress

My unbelievably generous friend Nancy spent Saturday morning with DD and I, helping us pick out material for her graduation dress. Annie had fun looking thru the pattern books and even more fun finding the brightest hot pink in the entire store....if not the world!
Nancy will be making the one in the lower right corner (tho longer :) ...you can check on the dress progress here ....and check out the cool yellow top she also made for me. I am so gonna owe her some photos!

Decisions

Cutting someone out of your life, even someone you absolutely know is toxic to you and your family, is so much harder in reality than in theory. Add to that the fact that this person is family and the difficulty is compounded.

For the past few months Steve and I have been struggling with a family member who's behavior has made her unsafe to be around. I've written a few times about my concerns and my own guilt at not being able to work this out with another adult....just giving up here doesn't seem to be the solution. I so want to fix things, make this right (or right-ER) talk it out, work it out....but when someone refuses to see their flaws, refuses to admit to any wrongdoing, won't even talk about it (and actually wants YOU to apologize)....eek! When this person goes out of their way to make you feel small and worthless and horrible....and feigns surprise that you are upset by this...then it's time to take a break.

My biggest concern is for my husband...he is not the target of said individuals wrath, but because he has taken my side (duh) he is collateral damage and the hurt is just as real. It pains me to be the cause of that hurt, however unintentional. He is such a kind man, a peacemaker, and to be honest, he is married to a bit of a hothead. I am, 'black and white in a grey world' and sometimes it gets me in trouble....but I am NOT unkind. I would never kick someone when they are down or knowingly hurt them, not even someone I despised. As soon as the tears start flowing I can barely scold my kids...I am at the core, a wimp. I do my best ranting on this blog or when I'm dealing with Verizon or Bank of America...real people intimidate me...mostly.

For years I've made a genuine effort to ingratiate myself into my husbands family. I remain slightly out of my comfort zone whenever we go to family functions (tho to give me some credit, we are ALL fairly uncomfortable at these get-togethers, even my husband) but over the years that feeling has decreased to the point where I don't spend the night before thinking up lame excuses to avoid the festivities. I have come to appreciate his family and wanted my children to have a relationship with the 'other' side. I still do...for the most part. But the time has come for a respite from the drama and mayhem of this individual. Maybe just a pause in the proceedings will calm everyone down to the point of being able to work things out...but to be honest, I doubt it. When someone says they've "moved on"....they've finished slashing you to pieces and want to simply walk away, wondering why you can't just "let it go" ...I find it difficult to believe they will ever see the error of their ways.

I can forgive just about anything, even without an apology, but I draw the line at intentional cruelty and pathological lying.

Happy Mother's Day!

A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'


...glad that's not my husband!

Self-Pity is not Attractive...

...on me anyway :)


Well, I guess I overreacted (what're the odds?). I talked to the Editor of the newspaper and he said there was a problem with their email and they didn't get my swim meet story till after the printer deadline, so they are going to run the story in next weeks paper. I'll add info from this weekends Division II meet to make it pseudo relevant. I should probably go to the meet to get pics, but it's in Bakersfield and I only go thru Bakersfield on my way to Southern CA...and I avoid that trip as much as possible. Actually, Annie and I are graduation dress shopping tomorrow. Or rather we are shopping for material for her graduation dress. My good friend and fantastic seamstress Nancy, has kindly offered to make my finicky daughter a dress for her 8th grade, 'we don't do hoopla, not a big deal, we actually just expect our kids to make it to High School'...... ceremony and dance. I love watching kids show up to their 8th grade graduation in a Limo....goes right along with my 'trophies to the fifth place team' rant. Geez, is there nothing our kids do today that we don't want in the Who's Who...great job emptying the dishwasher....give that kid a medal!

Is is just me or am I beginning to sound like a crotchety old man? ....eek!

Things you find out when you have Sons

(or things you remember from growing up with brothers!)

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. Ft. House 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. Room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even! though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

ps. I did not take the above photo....but I could have:)

Disappointment

Every Wednesday I excitedly rush down the street to buy an Exeter Sun newspaper (officially it's the Foothill Sun-Gazette, but we all still call it by it's old name). And every week I am slightly disappointed in what has been done to my stories. Sometimes it's not much, a word added or a paragraph out of order but it's disconcerting, to say the least. When I write on baseball, I put the preceeding weeks 2 games in one article. The paper likes the story to read with the victory first, if one of the games was a loss. I write my stories chronologically because there is a sense of 'going into the game, the Monarchs......' I just feel the games should be described in the order they were played. When the editor does this he sometimes replaces my well-thought out, much fretted over, opening sentence with some rushed drivel...ok it's not always that bad, it's just not MY words. This week it was.... "The Monarchs first game of the week started off well, but didn't end that well' ....UGH!!! My goodness, a fifth grader could have come up with something better! I agonize over every sentence and try to make my stories readable...to someone besides the kids' parents. And I repeat....MY name is on this....and I don't appreciate looking like a simpleton.

This week though, was the biggest slap of all; 2 of my 4 stories were cut, one of them the league swim meet. I worked very hard on these stories. For the swim meet I got quotes from the coaches (ok, one of them is my son but it was still a good quote) spent time on the internet to get results and info on the upcoming division II meet and had taken some good pics to accompany the story. We have an All-American swimmer on the Exeter team; she set a league record at the meet and I got a photo of her swimming in that race....and it's the backstroke so you can even see her face. Why was that story cut and all 5 (count 'em 5) of the other temporary guys stuff (ALL Softball stories) left in? Now, this gentleman is not a bad writer, a bit wordy, but he's not a great writer either...not by a long shot. And it doesn't help that the guy looks like an auto mechanic....and by that I mean he shows up looking like he just crawled out from underneath a car....he's a bit of a slob....nice guy, but a slob. (yeah, I know, that's just mean...sorry)
I guess maybe the 'writing is on the wall', excuse my pun. Maybe it's their not-so-subtle way of telling me that he will be the one to get the job if they end up hiring another writer. It's frustrating, disappointing, and not very good for my fragile ego....seriously. I never started out wanting to write, they approached me, so what wonderful lesson am I supposed to learn here? What was the point?


.....maybe tomorrow I will have wisdom, today I'm just going to whine.

Baseball

Two games left in the season for JV baseball (and possibly for Varsity as well, unless they can pull off an upset and win both of their remaining games) and because of my 'job' I have missed several of Wilson's games when I was assigned to cover other events....today it's softball. I guess that's the downside of making the big bucks
(ok, gas money).

View from our Dining room Window

We replaced an old, much smaller, window last Winter and never realized the view that we had been missing all these years. (and apparently I need to wash windows one of these days:)

Kids these days

I have a 14 yr. old daughter …she watches (watched) Hannah Montana….she wanted to go to her concert (tho more for the Jonas brothers than for Miley aka Hannah) …she is aware of the racy Miley Cyrus photo controversy ….her quote of the day regarding the pics, “She’s an idiot”. My daughter is not one to mince words….trust me.

Why is it that whenever a young entertainer wants to ‘transition’ into adulthood, she (and it’s always a she here folks) feels that it's necessary to take her clothes off? Is that our idea of maturity? Act like an adult sweetie….strip! We need you to appeal to a wider demographic…take off some clothes! You would have thought that the Britney calamity would have taught us something.

Ms. Liebovitz, you should be ashamed of yourself. With your incredible talent, this is the best you could come up with? What risk was there in doing these? You could have done something different, given us a fresh new perspective on Miley but you settled for the same old garbage.

For her part, Ms. Liebovitz says she is sorry that the photo of Miley (wearing just a sheet) has been misinterpreted….obviously it was meant to portray the millions of starving and naked homeless people throughout the world….didn’t you notice the lack of make-up? How exactly were the uneducated masses supposed to ‘interpret’ a photo of a 15yr. old girl holding fabric to cover her bare breasts?

And here's a thought….shock and controversy don’t always equate with artistic and groundbreaking…sometimes the reaction you get from the peons out here..... actually means that there is something terribly wrong.

Three Things to Ponder:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments


C O W S

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.


T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.


T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post "Thou Shall Not Steal," "Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery," and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

tee hee....thanks Uncle Al:)

Thanks for sending this Mom!

1. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

2. I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them

4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive.

6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

8. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are just missing.

10. God must love stupid people, he made so many of them.

...to be continued :)

My Future ...or lack thereof

I've been writing for the local, small town, rinky dink, comes out once a week, newspaper for the past month, as well as taking pics. Does this make me a 'photojournalist'? Wow, that's either really cool or incredibly pretentious (and slightly delusional :)
I got the temporary job because the regular gal is on maternity leave and I can finish a sentence.....those were the qualifications (literally). My husband is an English teacher, so I know that being able to put together a legible paragraph is a rare and much coveted skill these days. I never thought of myself as a writer, but I do like to read....alot....so I guess it kind of rubs off on you. And you'd think I would have a point here but alas I really don't, except to say that after doing this for a few weeks I am finding that I want to keep doing it. I like the extra money and I love seeing my stuff in print, except when they edit it incorrectly (and my name is on it!).....so now the praying starts. Where do I go from here? Do I ask for a more permanent position? Do I look to the bigger, daily newspaper in Visalia? Eeeek the mere thought of trying to get a 'real' job scares me to death.... ok, not to death maybe....but it does make me sick to my stomach.

yeah...definitely...go for it...I'm ready...I can handle it.......

Live and learn?

I had an interesting Bible study the other day; one of the main points was learning to not put our expectations onto others (specifically Christians). I have a terrible habit of thinking ....a Christian should/would/could________(fill in the blank) and if they don't, their Christianity is suspect. I think it's valid to expect that a Christian should have certain definite standards (like not being a porn star or a puppy killer) but so often I put MY concerns onto others and think that if they don't share those concerns then they are obviously going straight to .....ahem... Hell.

And I am learning this at 50?!?!?

Natural Highs

Think about them one at a time

before going on to the next one.

(It Does Make You Feel Good)

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket .

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

14. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

15. The beach.

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

20. Running thru sprinklers