Wednesday, November 7, 2007


Wilson takes his first Drivers training lesson….

There are few things in life more pleasant (said dripping with sarcasm) than a trip to the DMV, with the possible exception of shopping at Wal-Mart or attending a graduation ceremony.

Son #3 (Wilson – pay attention) turned 16 in July but having had the misfortune of following his 2 accident-prone brothers into the driving foray; he has had to wait a wee bit to get behind the wheel. The time had finally arrived (the nagging having reached intolerable levels :) and so we headed to town.

I figure as long as we are going to the DMV this is as good a time as any to turn in my license renewal form (birthday the next day so, ‘good a time as any’ is a euphemism for ‘last possible moment’). Had I known that I was going to have to get my picture taken I would’ve renewed online (did you know you can do that?). Haven’t washed my hair in 2 days, so taking a photo that will follow me for the next 10 years thrills me to no end. I SO hate getting my picture taken that I am not even cheered by the fact that this new photo will be replacing the one taken in what looks to be the 80’s... big ole bug-eye glasses (did we really ever think these were attractive?).

After the experience of taking my pic, I wait for Wilson to finish up the test. Should’ve brought a book, didn’t, so I end up watching the various life forms that have been sucked into the DMV vortex (including those of us dimwits who didn’t read the info mailed to us that would’ve allowed us to avoid this whole experience). After a few minutes I notice an older gentleman walking in my direction (and I use the term loosely here, shuffling would be a more descriptive term). My first impression is that he is blind as he is using a cane and his gaze seems off in some distant land. He is following what turns out to be his (approx.) 50yr. old daughter around the corner to the license renewal section of the DMV and after a few steps he is literally dragging the cane behind him. When he reaches a point about 6ft. from the DMV gal and her computer, his daughter says, “right here dad” and he turns (immediately) and is now standing in front of an empty section of counter...and continues standing there (and staring off into space).

Now, at this point I'm holding out the faint hope that it is his daughter (holding the paperwork) who is here to renew her license. So when she says to him, "no, down here dad" and grabs him by the arm in order to pull him sideways to where she is standing, I figure it’s gotta be so she can keep an eye on him. He doesn’t seem to know where he is, so obviously no one would allow him behind the wheel of a car; it would kinda be like giving a 5yr.old an Uzi. At this point, the DMV gal tells him to sign the register and takes his thumbprint. She then tells him to turn around and stand in front of the blue screen to have his photo taken (all of 3ft. behind him) which he responds by turning..… and walking right on past. I believe that if said daughter had not grabbed him from behind, he would’ve gone right on home (happy ending for us all). The whole time I’m watching this comedy routine (think Tim Conway in almost any old Carol Brunette skit) I’m looking around for someone to raise my eyebrows at…to telepathically ask, “Are you seeing what I’m seeing? ...Shouldn’t we stop this?”

Wils said that he must have passed the vision exam or they wouldn’t allow him to drive...ok...well, maybe there needs to be a more rigorous exam and that possibly getting lost in the DMV should be considered an automatic failure. What are these people thinking?!? Does he have a JOB to get to in the morning? (Pizza delivery guy? UPS driver?)

I have no point here, no wisdom, except to say that I dearly wish I knew when this gentleman was going to be behind the wheel so I could keep my kids off the road. We are making it harder and harder for teens to drive (rightfully so) but maybe we need to take a look at the other end of the spectrum.

Meanwhile, drive defensively and hopefully old guy will find better things to do with his studying for his pilot’s license exam.


Nancy W. said...

Hey! What happened to our dinner plans? I'm soooo sorry I did not call. Let's RESCHEDULE!!!

Maureen said...

No problem Nancy, I've been so busy photoshopping I haven't had time to think of anything else. Why don't we plan something AFTER the Christmas break.