Friday, November 2, 2007

caution....extreme whining to follow

Why is it that the very day I decide I can do this I get kicked in the teeth? I finally got up the nerve to accept a job (paid!) and went in with all the confidence in the world (for me that means not throwing up) and I pretty much stunk the place up. ARGHHHH...I just want to crawl in a hole somewhere and cry...
....and this morning I was driving thru town thinking I couldn't wait to get thru this trial and get to the other side so I could make sure NO other person had to go thru the frustration and agony (ok, slight exaggeration, but that’s how it feels) I actually thought I was having an aha moment, that I could help other photographers who were surely going to be going down this same road...but then I thought, why does any of us have to go thru it?
I can take good pictures...I know I why is it that when I need to...when it’s crunch time...I screw it up??? And the thing is...I don’t know WHY...I don’t know what I’m doing wrong (or even if) so I can’t fix it. I have asked everyone who will listen (believe me, my DH has gotten an earful) and I’m sure by now I’m on a couple blocked email lists. I read, I practice, I ask questions and the very things I think I have a handle on seem to change the minute I pick up the camera. Not to mention that focus...FOCUS for gosh sake...the thing that should be easy, the thing I never even thought about when I was shooting film...suddenly is my biggest issue.

I've even sent my entire set-up to Canon and they found a couple of minor problems and fixed them…or so they said. So, now it’s squarely in the user error’s MY fault. I just want to pull my hair out! .....if it helps, I am trying to find the Lords hand in all this...feeling a bit like I’m looking for Waldo.... but I do have hope! be continued (hopefully there will be a happy ending and I can impart wisdom upon the masses...for now I’m just pissed)


Nancy W. said...

I don't believe it And tell me I'm wrong - you're the only one who sees anything wrong with the pictures?

Maureen said...

I guess that's why they call it whining....but yes and no....I think it's just me expecting my equipment to perform like the professional level (aka expensive) stuff and it's just not possible. But with practice, I'm going to figure out how to at least get better at indoor/lowlight/ flash photography, it's my weakest area.

and Thanks Nancy, you always make me feel better :)