Wednesday, February 13, 2008

My Sorrow

Apparently I need to take my own advice...don’t you hate that? I have been emailing back and forth to someone for the past couple weeks and I finally got up the nerve to call her attention to some letters she had written to me that I thought were rather rude. I did it in what I thought (idiot) was a fairly non-threatening manner. It did not go over well …at all.

Why is it that when you try to politely (but firmly) tell someone that they have hurt your feelings they immediately shift into attack mode? Is it possible to be so completely clueless that you can go thru life stepping on people's toes and then turn around and accuse them of being callous and mean? Is it possible to be so thoroughly convinced of your lack of culpability that you are not willing to make a single concession of fault? Honestly, I have never been that completely convinced of my own innocence. I just figure no matter what is going on, I’ve probably not been entirely perfect.

I do believe that somehow in the past few decades we have managed to produce an inordinately large number of narcissistic personalities. People who, for whatever reason, think that the world revolves around them and that their perception of events is absolutely and unquestionably accurate. They constantly rewrite history to construct a reality where they have committed no wrongs. This view, though immensely comforting to the narcissist, is extremely damaging to those around them. These people need to be treated as anyone would treat a wounded bear……don’t kick them…ok, that’s obvious…how about run screaming from the room (minus the screaming of course, I just added that for dramatic effect :)

As much as we would like, it is impossible to surround ourselves with only people who love us; our enemies are all around and we are called to love even the worst of them. But love does not mean we leave ourselves open to abuse; being gracious does not include the stipulation to put ourselves in harms way. Love them from a distance if that is the safest place…pray for their salvation...wish them well...but don’t hand them a gun and make yourself a target.

And when we are assaulted by the aforementioned individuals and our feelings are left bruised and battered...
....flee into the arms of those who truly love us...cry on their shoulders...accept the comfort and peace they offer…for they are truly God's hands and feet on this earth.


jules said...

I love you Maureen. I'm eternally grateful for your friendship.

(...and yes, I really do adore you)

jules said...

...but it's not like I have a shrine to you or anything ... well, not anymore. I needed the space. That's where we have the microwave now. : )

Maureen said... always make me laugh!

Nancy W. said...

OK - What'wrong with this picture? First of all, the person in question is rude to you. They are oblivious to the fact that whatever it was they were saying was hurtful. Do you really need friends like this? NOOOO! You deserve the best friends Maureen, because you would never do that to someone else. Besides, I can pick out a few names of people we know if we want to be surrounded with people like that - right? You have so many people who love you - forget the others! Hey, let's get together when we can spend more than 1/2 hour rushing through lunch. Do ou guys want to get together and do something Friday night?

Maureen said...

You are just the nicest bestest friend Nancy :) thanks! Friday nights are baseball nights....what about a Saturday?

ps. and what do you do when the person in question is family...eek.